– I am an addict, an addict, an addict… – the words rang in her ears every time she had to leave the quiet household and merge with crowds.
Crowds talked in their own way; the hysterical I gotta win, I can’t lose, I am late, mingled with the desperate he is not calling me back, she won’t get laid, they will never promote me forming a never-ending buzz.
She used to pick out male and female voices from the hum; initially, she was curious what the buzzing was about.
I must meet project deadlines, and I gotta pay the bills overlapped I am hungry, I am lonely, and I am horny. She moved on, I want her back, I’ll get drunk, I will smoke weed resonated with people are stupid, I should lose weight, I want shrimp scampi.
Eventually, the curiosity turned sour since different words generated the same old I want, I crave, I will die if I do not have it now. Words of distress and agony; words of anger and instant gratification, words of addiction.
The bigger was the crowd, the more addiction was emitted. Airports, stadiums, shopping malls were the worst particularly during the holiday season. Individual pain, fury, and anxiety fused into an avalanche of despair and hatred that moved fast enough to destroy serenity, love, and common sense.
The crowd annihilated human individuality, people turned into mere transmitters of cravings and impulsivity losing their mind, becoming numb, deaf, and blind. Loud music, bright pictures, and spicy smells blended with screaming sexuality amplified addiction and maximized craziness.
– I am an addict, I am an addict, I am an addict – the humming insanity of the crowd felt annoying to her ears. She was never a loner, she loved interacting with people, she was just bothered by crowds.