affection, bi-polar, broken heart, control, crazy, dating, relations, feelings, disgust, dominance, fears, feelings, happiness, intimacy, life, love, obsession, power, psycho, Psychopath, reality, relations, sex, submission, sugar

Evil Behind the Mask


What does the evil look like? Is it someone leather-faced, smelling like decayed teeth and low-income household?

Dave was handsome, highly educated, and wealthy; warm, smiley and polite.

Intimacy with him felt like heaven, he was gentle, affectionate, and caring. “I hug you, and you smile, one day I will see you smiling all the time. It will make me happy.”  He had a great body, nicely smelling bed-linen, huge master bedroom, and high-quality home sound system.

 – What kind of music does my Vixen want?

 – Can we do Mozart?

 – You need something relaxing, what about meditation music?

 – Ok, – I shrugged my shoulders and went into the bathroom, being intimate with him felt relaxing. Sex was not merely joyful or fun, it was spectacular, phenomenal, magical, fantastic.

 – I need to take you shopping, my Vixen needs new dresses.

 – Maybe next time? I gotta pick up my kid from his daycare.

 – No, we will go now, I will choose, since I am paying. Your facial expression…. It has changed, that’s funny…

He had a great taste, the outfit he bought looked awesome. I was thankful and quiet. He did not want me to speak unless he expected answers to his questions.

Talking makes you anxious, dear, you get into your shitty moods that make you unhappy. I want you happy, this is my goal, princess, to make you happy.

 – Yeah, but I just wanted

 – Shh … silly, – he covered my mouth with his hand, – When I speak, you listen, ok?

Physical closeness was awesome, simply awesome, he was very expressive and emotional; I was touched, I kept breaking into tears, he liked it. – There is nothing wrong about showing your feelings, Vixen. You are certainly allowed to do it around me. You gotta read good books, spiritual literature. It will help you grow and become a better person. You can’t be a sugar baby all your life.

I found Seroquel and an empty Tequila bottle on one of his book shelves behind Luke Rhinehart and Teachings of the Buddha. – I have zero tolerance for alcohol. I can’t be around someone who drinks, Dave.

 – One of my friends left the bottle here, he stopped by yesterday, we meditated.

 – Are you taking anti-psychotic meds with alcohol?

 – I took half a pill, the first time in ten years, I stopped drinking long time ago. You gotta relax and stop your crazy thinking, I feel bad when I see you suffering, luv.

 – Why did you take it?

 – My ex stopped by, she is horrible, the most negative person in the world, she tried to commit suicide several times when we were together. I was anxious all night after that, the pill helped me sleep.

 – I thought it is your ex-girlfriend who tried to kill herself.

 – My ex-wife was also crazy, she is a very miserable person, she needs help. I had back luck with women in the past. You are the angel Vixen, I am blessed to have you in my life.

Sex was mind-blowing, I left his house feeling the happiest person in the world that night. He constantly wanted me around. He paid for my son’s sitter and for the hours I missed work to be with him. – You are working too much, it makes no sense, even my cleaners do better financially, honey. You need to change your career. I do not want my princess to stress twenty-four hours a day. It makes me sad to watch you suffer.   

 – I will end up losing my job if I continue taking time off. I can’t afford it, I need to feed my son.

 – I will take care of you both. Trust me, you will never be homeless and hungry.

 – I can take vacation later, maybe a couple of months from now?

 – Now, – suddenly his smile froze, – I will take care of everything:  flights, hotels, food, shopping… I want you to start packing now. Your son can go with us, I love kids.

 – I can’t.

 – Yes, you can, – he grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking. My head hit the cupboard door. I screamed, he quickly released the grip and gave me a hug. – Are you ok my dear?

I saw blood on the light-wood cupboard door and concern in his dark eyes as he was gently checking my head.– Just a tiny scratch, nothing serious, love.

 – I may need to see a doctor. I hit my temple.    

 – They will rip you off and do nothing. I owned several medical practices, people there are morons. You should not trust them. I will take care of you.

 – I need to go.

 – You need to stop talking now. – The sudden change in his voice was frightening.

That afternoon was the first time I did not leave his house mesmerized by his charm and the way he used his penis. The evil was there caring and smiling, carefully drying my skin with a soft towel after a bath and holding hands while sleeping. The evil was there, slowly but surely cuffing me to the 2-million dollar home with substance abuse and mental health issues. The evil was there gently destroying the identity through manipulation and control slowly leading others to suicidal ideation. The evil had the face of an upper class guy with refined manners, hard cock, and fat banking accounts.

It took time to finally see the dirty truth inside the fancy packaging box.

affection, crazy, disgust, life, sugar

Affection, Luxury, and Disgust.


Dave wanted me out again. His “you just need real love, the unconditional kind” melted my heart. He was right, I needed love, and after such words I was ready to give him as many chances as needed.

He gave me a call early on Saturday morning.  – Find a sitter for your son and head here. We will go on a boat, I will make you smile. Of course, I will pay for the sitter and for your gas, just stop by.

Heather was right, his house was big and beautiful – a block away from the Gulf of Mexico. Lovely boat dock, open living room with teak ceiling accents, huge lanai with the water view, private waterfront pool and spa.

–  Please take off your shoes, I do not want you to stain the carpets upstairs, – he kept smiling, I kept blushing. – We can go out fishing or stay at the pool, it’s up to you, – I shrugged my shoulders checking my iPhone for messages from my son’s sitter.

He carefully rubbed the sunscreen all over my back, his touch was gentle, his demeanor was polite, he felt like his house: clean, distant, and surreal. – I kept reaching out for my iPhone until he took it from my fingers. – Your son will be fine. You worry too much, my love. I need to work with you on getting you relaxed.

The water was crystal clear, I swam to the edge of the pool ready to work on my pull-ups when I felt Dave’s hands hugging me from behind. – You gotta relax Vixen, you are always on the go, that’s not good. I should teach you how to take things easy.

– Yes, but I would like to exercise

– Stop it, – he squeezed me tight to his body. Spooning with him in the water was fun, he smelt like lime and peppermint.

 – Why are you wearing your watch under the water?

 – It’s water-proof, can you finally relax and stop talking? – there was a slight irritation in his voice, I did not care, I glanced towards the Rolex on his wrist to check the time. I had an hour prior returning to my kid. – You are an interesting lady, I have difficulty figuring you out.

 – There is nothing to figure out, Dave.

– You are impatient, your mind is all over the place, you can’t focus

– Ok

– You can say something back if you like, we are talking now

– I have nothing to say.

– Your perception of the world is skewed, but you are sexy. I will need to teach you lots of things.

I was quiet, the water in the pool was refreshing, the whole outdoor living area looked rich and lovely. He started kissing me, I slightly responded trying to release his grip off my butt.

– Did I offend you? – he sounded upset as I got out of the pool and started looking around in search of a towel. My gaze dropped to the outside fireplace area, and I saw several empty liquor bottles. I froze, I shuddered. I have zero tolerance for alcohol. My passion for him vanished instantly, all I wanted was to leave and never come back

– Do you like hard liquor?

-I do, does it matter

-It is your house, do what you want, I really do not care

-My friends were here yesterday, we had a nice time, don’t be paranoid my dear, I only had 7 shots

– Ok, – Snobbism, criticism, condescending attitude, and now – drinking. The initially presented ideal picture of the well-mannered gentleman in a Tuscan villa collapsed entirely, I felt disgusted. He was watching me like a hungry dog as I was taking off the wet swimming suit. I needed to dry and get out of that place.

 – Would you like to go upstairs honey? I can go down on you, I am really good at it.

 – Maybe next time? – I sensed his horniness with my naked skin, but it meant nothing, it was the end of magic, my fascination with his wealth was gone.

 – I want you to stay, Vixen.

 – Why did you break up with your girlfriend, if you do not mind me asking?

 – Of course not, I am an open book. She got suicidal, drank too much liquor, took one of my guns, and attempted to shoot herself. She was nuts, an alcoholic, accused me of cheating, crazy, I am glad we broke up, now I can tame you. By the way, did I tell you I collect guns? We can go upstairs, and I will show you….

 – What do you mean by taming me?

– You are like a cat bouncy and frisky. It will take time to get you where you should be. You need discipline, I will help, I want you happy.

Alcohol, guns, suicidal ideation, and nagging attempts to adjust me to his needs. Fake sweetness, violence through the velvet glove. The house was no longer attractive. Heather has a poor taste for guys. I hurriedly got dressed and left regretting that I wasted the whole morning in that damn place rather than playing with my son