happiness, life, love

Anxiety versus Happiness.


Our mind – a compilation of phobias and fears, resentments and grudges, frustrations and anger.

Who ever gave us this tool, did not clarify how to efficiently silence it or use it if needed. And we identify ourselves with the mind, live under the diktat of past issues, and put labels on ourselves and on others. We do not live in the reality. All we see is gloom and doom of the past traumas in the present. We voluntarily perceive this world through the skewed glasses and fiercely resist to take them off. Pain of the past experiences is very familiar; the uncertainty of the present is scary. Choosing our inner demons over questioning the rationality of our fears is safe. We get too adjusted to mental injuries and sufferings, and do not want to leave them behind. If we lock our past in the closet, the reality will seem suspiciously quiet and unusually calm. We are not used to it. We get panicky expecting the storm to hit us right after the silence. We hurriedly put our skewed glasses back on feeling relieved that the uncertainly is gone, and our life is filled with familiar anxiety and depression again.

Familiar sufferings are better that unusual calmness.

The mind keeps demanding the solution to the problem. Turning the mind off means relinquishing the grip of the problem; we let the problem resolve itself. We go with the flow and live accepting our issues as illusory as everything else created by our mind. We do not follow the mind games, we just observe the panic it keeps creating. We see the problems as circles on the water, knowing that they will be gone, and we will submerge in the serenity again until the mind creates another issue to worry about. Resolving the present through the past experiences will give us the same old panic. The problem will resolve itself opening doors to a wider world, untarnished by past traumas and resentments.

Insanity means using same old thoughts and actions expecting new outcomes. Staying calm, accepting the uncertainty of our life, letting the demons in our mind pass is the key to true happiness.

 – I have no idea what you are talking about, Vixen, Greg was skeptical, stuck in his rigidly surgical world of cutting and medicating.

I gave him a hug and smiled. I loved him and learned to accept his insanity, his wife, endless mistresses, and pathological greediness. Intimacy with him balanced me out, I lived at the moment, I felt happy.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.