life

Dominance, Jim, Attachment

BDSM

I clicked with Jim that night. He wanted to see me. As usually I was angry and ready to break up, as usually, I melted as soon as our eyes melt. He handed me yellow roses, I quietly put them into a vase and dropped aspirin into the water. His flowers were always beautiful and always lasted long.

Do you want to be with me Vixen?

I did not respond. He moved closer, I shuddered at his kiss, it was too redolent of power. Selfish, horny, and aggressive. He wanted sex and did not care much about my feelings.

The code word is RED my dear. You gotta stop if I say it, otherwise you will end up killing me and going to jail. You bruised me bad last time, – I knew my words were useless; he only listened to himself.

 – I will stop immediately, – his shift to sadism was almost instant. He grabbed my hair really hard forcing me to give him head. I entirely surrendered control following his commands to do what he wanted. His orders got wilder and sluttier, turning sex into a mere power game, my submission was total and unconditional.

I kept serving, obeying, and pleasing; he was rough, I was losing myself. He was fucking me hard with his hand on my throat when the click happened.

 – Your body belongs to me, don’t you dare to take it away from me, – there was something primeval about his whisper. I just looked into his eyes and felt him, his fury, aggression, and obsessiveness. I surrendered, I opened up, I connected, I gave myself to him entirely, without leaving anything to myself. Greg was no longer in the picture, he disappeared from my reality.

 – By the way, what is going on between you and Greg?  – sex was finished, Jim was curious. I was quiet, – He is not a bad surgeon, Vixen, but he is a shitty person. You should stay away from him.

 – How do you know? – I did not care much from that standpoint, Jim finally got me, I was attached.

 – I know his colleagues do not like him, he does not get along with others.

 – They just promoted him to the Vice President position, please go home, – I wanted Jim to leave and never come back. I hated myself for falling for him, but it was too late, there was nothing that I could do.

 – When shall I see you again?

 – Never, I will get married and will live in a nice big house with a boat and a big black vehicle.

 – Don’t be an idiot, I have houses and boats. And I can buy and sell your Greg as many times as I want. When shall I see you again?

 – F*ck you, – it was no longer no-strings-attached, I had feelings for him, and it was horrible. I felt weak, scared, and ashamed.

I blocked his phone after he left and went to bed. It was a heavy day, and I wanted it to be over ASAP.

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