life

Dom and Sub, Choking, Jim


          Stop lying to yourself. You like Jim, – The morning started with Heather’s phone call.
          I am in the middle of something, may I call you back later? – I had no desire to talk to her. 

Initially, it was her idea to introduce me to Rick; the crazy motherf*cker who was into knocking up random women. I slowly stretched under the blanket reluctant to get out of bed.
 
She was actually right. I liked Jim, otherwise I would not keep coming back every time I felt I was done with his possessiveness. I recalled his recent “be my sub, please your man” and felt a slight tingle between my legs. I was submissive, he was dominant, one part of me hated his constant attempts to get me totally subservient. The other part was easily aroused every time he approached me with something like “I want to f*ck my hot submissive Vixen”.  He was not Greg, he was much more persistent and controlling. Teasing him was like playing with fire. Jim could destroy me, his obsessiveness got me scared and horny, I wanted to dump him, and I wanted intimacy at the same time. Feeling up and down, never ending drama.
 
          You send mixed signals, you seduce and then you freeze, I can’t figure you out
          Than don’t, don’t figure me out, I am not an oyster for you to crack
Less than a second, and he got very close. His hand tightened around my neck, our eyes met, I felt like melting, seriously melting while holding his gaze.
          You like it rough, right?
I kept quietly holding his gaze, he had that heavy, unreadable look in his eyes that was always my huge turn-on. There was something hypnotic about his power, all I wanted was to give in and entirely dissolve. The arousal started from my neck and went down. His other hand was in my panties, the fingers sliding into me. I closed my eyes focusing on the weird sensation: horny and scared at the same time. He took his hand off my neck not waiting for our safe word.
 
          What is on your mind, Vixen?
 I shook my head unwilling to open my eyes. He kept trying to understand me, I kept hiding in my own world.
–            Will you be my sub? Will you please your master? I will cherish you for that
 
I did not want to respond, he would not like my answer anyway. He was trying to understand what does not exist. I felt like being split in thousand tiny pieces that he was trying to collect without asking if I needed it. He was trying to fix what Greg kept destroying randomly showing up in my life. But Greg could assemble me with a short “I want you now” text message; and I would be there, forgetting and forgiving everything. The essence of true submission, the psychological aspect of complete subordination; the ability to give, give, and give, without asking or expecting anything in return.
 
I finally got out of bed and went into the shower. It was the time to get ready, pack the suitcase, and check out. I was happy to leave Jacksonville, it was not too hospitable to me this time.