The older I become, the brighter is my realization that nothing in this life is meaningful. Life is meaningless, it is our mind that keeps finding the meaning about it. Some of us live with a positive attitude exploring fun and pleasures. Some though indulge in sufferings, sinking themselves in depressions and anxieties, swallowing tears at the therapist’s, and supporting pharmacy through taking Xanax, Adderall, and other crap.
Some of us are married to their miseries and refuse to see beyond their past traumas, which is understandable. Finding pleasures in life gets you out of the victim box; and not everyone is ready to face this life when the sweet cover of empathy, sympathy, pity, and compassion is ripped off.
Swamping in grievances, dramas, and tears is comfy although stinky. But many of us are so used to the foul smell of victimization that they become adamantly resistant to let go of resentment.
They perceive the freshness of freedom from grudges as the threat to the comfort of antidepressants, alcohol, and the drawn curtains. The darkness of their houses is lit by hugely bright TV screens, the only solace between soda and pizza, or red wine and skinny pasta, depending on the social level of the zombie LOL. Hiding in the dark with virtual gaming, porn, and action shows is therapeutic, the fresh air of reality is horribly unwelcome.
The meaninglessness of our life is amazing since we can always create the illusion of meaning based on what we want. We may prefer watching the star-lit sky through a telescope to hiding under the blanket, but both choices are irrelevant. It will all end up the same way to all of us since no one is immortal.
The only thing that matters at the end of the day is our health, the physical health of our bodies. The body is our only true friend that will never lie unlike our mind, which is full of such crap as ambitions, competitions, achievements, and urges to win. The body will always tell the truth by showing to us what we are doing wrong; and it is kinda fatuous to disregard the loud voice that keeps begging for the relief from meat consuming, work stress, sex, and medications.
We have been taught to move forward, to set goals and to achieve them. We were trained to split the world into winners and losers and to suppress the panic of becoming the latter through endless fitness and career building. Going with a flow has never been understood. Observing and feeling this life with each part of the body has always been neglected in the favor of crazy racing to the grave.
I decided to stop and do not regret my decision. I just live, take care of my body, and observe opening myself entirely to the pointlessness of our existence.