Carla, my best girlfriend is a feminist and a divorce attorney. Perfectionist and beauty. She always dates low testosterone guys who have some belly fat and unconditional respect for the gender equality. She always tries to hook me up with someone “nice” and “reliable” with an average-sized penis to start a “real family”. Our irregular meetings normally begin with her attempts to rescue me from myself. I love her, since she is one of few who really cares.
How do you see yourself 5 years from now? – She has that mentoring tone of the voice that may sound perfectly fine in court, but I get tempted to cover my ears.
– I have no answer to this, Carla. I even have no idea what will happen to me tomorrow – We were having lunch in Cheretto. Emy desperately attempts to get the membership here despite Greg’s connections and money. She is still on the list waiting, and it drives her nuts that I have the green light.
– You can’t be a secretary all your life.
– Your education, experience, you are putting your career into the toilet and flushing it.
– Carla, life is meaningless, no matter what we do, we are wasting it, I prefer doing nothing
– But you got your license, why don’t you run a therapy practice?
– Cos I do not like people
– And you do not eat, what is your weight, ninety pounds?
– Eighty-nine, – I did not want to explain to her that I can’t eat, I have no appetite, Jim and Greg suck all my energy, I feel drained all the time
– Oh My God, Vixen, you gotta eat, you will end up being sick, think about your son, who will take care of him if something happens to you?
– I will eat, I promise, – I wanted to make her happy. Carla looked upset, I really appreciated her warmly patronizing attitude. I wish Greg cared like my girlfriend did, but he does not give a shit. I am so sick and tired of his “will you spread your legs for me” demeanor, but he keeps emerging in my life, and I keep losing my head over his smell and psychopathic rudeness.
– Vixen, honestly, your attitudes scare me. – I quietly shifted my gaze from the cup with almond coffee to her face. Carla had that exotic beauty, which did not match her feminist worldviews and the attorney career. Long dark hair, slim waist, big butt, and heavy boobs; she is adorable, she could be a happy woman, but her brain messes up everything. – You are with the guy who forced you to sex, I would never let it go.
– We are not in a fairy tale, Carla, he pays my bills, – Being a feminist clearly twisted her brain, she sees rape and abuse in everything
– Why don’t you report it to the police?
– And who will check on me every morning? Who will fix my vehicle, get me potted roses, take me to Europe, and buy jewelry? Don’t be ridiculous.
– You allow him to take advantage of you, he uses you, he is controlling, he has no respect…
– Jim has an awesome touch, a big dick, and power, he is real, period. – I wanted to stop her stream of consciousness, she dug way too deep, our conversation got too heavy.
– Jim controls you. He is a psychopath, you gotta be very careful
– Says who?
– Greg did
– What? – She simply pronounced his name, and I immediately felt an electric shock down my spine. – What did Greg tell you?
– Vixen, this is horrible, – Carla put her coffee cup away and looked straight into my eyes, – You are an open book to them, no wonder why they use you
– Please, tell me more. When did you talk to Greg?
– You should see yourself, he got you, he literary got you, girl. – She looked worried, – You cannot let males take over you, they will use you and throw you away
– There is nothing wrong about being in love, Carla, – I sighed and took with my fork a tiny piece of cheesecake off her plate. – I am surprised Greg even remembers me
– Unbelievable! Where is your self-esteem?, – Carla was emitting anger with amazement. Of course he remembers you, of course he cares, did you see yourself in the mirror? You are young and lovely, and he is old and ugly, he does not deserve you
My heart was beating so fast that I felt hot despite the frozen dessert, – What did he say to you about me?
– Greg says you do not answer your phone. He thinks Jim abuses you. He came to me trying to find you, he told me you sleep with his boss. He is very angry, actually.
– Which means, – I did not even bother to hide my elation, – which means that life goes on
– Vixen, – there was something rhythmically metallic about the tone of her voice, – Vixen, you gotta wake up, you are destroying yourself, he is married, there is no future here
I do not care about the future, that day I was leaving Carla and Cheretto with the present that got ten times brighter after I found about that he cares, that he worries, that he remembers. Greg, my Greg. I was seriously considering to break up with Jim at any cost, be by myself, and patiently wait for Greg to appear at my front door again.