control, dominance, feelings, Jim

Jim, Octupus, Power


Serenity and comfort. This is how I felt around Jim. He was very possessive and controlling. But his dominance was so soporifically hypnotizing that nothing bothered me much while being with him. I agreed to sex after 3 months of duress in hope that he would leave me alone, but it got worse. He started spreading his influence through my life like a giant octopus. He grabbed hold of myself unwilling to let go. He remembered everything, he kept track of all our texts and emails, he was aware of every contact in my I-phone, my entire day schedule, and he wanted to get into my mind and crack it like a shell of an oyster.

Iron hand in a velvet glove. I demonstrated yielding to his charm and consoling attitudes, but kept saving my real self from his predatory tentacles.

He attempted to ask me about Greg, but hit the wall of my silent reluctance to share, and had to back off. My only victory in our endless power battle.

But there was something very enticing about his ongoing attempts to destroy my personal boundaries. I had respect for his persistence, dominance, and the impudence to get what he wants by all means. It was sexy, mesmerizing, thrilling.

He almost immediately got me into the dom/sub relationship in sex and outside the bedroom, which was both extremely scary and very enthralling.
I like guys who do not talk much, do not smile a lot, and get to the point quickly and ruthlessly. Jim was one of them. I enjoyed his silence and intense focus on everything he did including myself. 

          I want you to love me, Vixen – he was in the middle of ice-cream apple dessert and stock market analysis.
          Is it hard to do trading? – I glanced at the screen of his I-Phone over his shoulder.
          Not really, I can teach you. Will you love me baby?

I had no answer to this. My thoughts were with Greg, he was supposed to join us the following week for lunch with Emy, and I was looking forward to seeing him again.

          Will you love me baby?
          Are you attempting to crack my shell again?
          Never, I want to protect you not smash you, but will you?
          Yes, I will

He was Greg’s boss, my only connection with him, therefore I was not ready to dump him. Even if I wanted to leave, I could not; I was grasped tightly, and he was not willing to relinquish his grip.   

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