life

Thoughts about Greg


My Greg, my emotional roller coaster, my inability to think straight and be rational when he shows up in my life.
Yes, I cope: boy push-ups, water fasting, and doctorate – the magic formula to keep my mind off.
My Greg. Tall, psychopathic, blunt, and dominant. Narcissism and inability to give. He only takes, period.
Sex with him is hypnotizing, I am a little bunny next to a huge python. He leases me like his vehicles and boats. Exploits relentlessly and disappears after. I get squeezed like a lemon and feel entirely forgotten until he returns hungry for another portion of my energy.
The true energy vampire, he can be as warm and comforting as a big German Shepherd when he needs me, and cold and negligent once he gets what he wants.
I cannot predict his behaviors, his intentions, his leaves and comebacks, which used to drive me nuts until I realized that I cannot change anything, I can only accept my powerlessness.
And I accept my lack of control over his actions and my responses. He won’t change, ever, ever, ever at all. And I am fine with it. He comes and goes, promises and forgets, and I keep living my life, raising his son, and watching sunsets with sweet cherries and electrolyte water.