feelings, happiness, Jim, love

Jim and Symposium


I have always thought Greg is extremely possessive and controlling until I met Jim. No, no, correction here, until Jim found me and put extensive pressures on me to the point of literally raping me in a cheap hotel. He demanded afterwards to give him the full access to my I-phone contacts, to my personal space, and to my soul. I felt I was an oyster he attempted to shuck. He was continuously trying to drown me in waterfront dining, yacht racing, gun clubs, and jet memberships. I got tired and surrendered; he is Greg’s big boss, one of the clinic owners, with a huge ego and endless love for fishing.  

I agreed to fly with him to Montréal to a cancer immunotherapy conference since Greg’s name was on the list of participants. I spent half a day in a beauty salon getting that high-maintenance and seemingly casual look. I wanted Greg to see me with Jim, get jealous, and regret. The symposium was long and boring. I kept looking around restless in my efforts to find him in the conference hall, feeling with my skin astonished glances of the audience. My anxious curiosity and the black off-shoulder dress did not match the event.

I stepped out of the room tired of watching old farts with endless oncology reports and saw Greg in the empty hall. He was obviously late and stressed out.
          My Vixen is here, life is good now
          Do you like my new dress?  
          I like what is in the dress more

 I knew I was missing him all the time, his warmth, his smell, his narcissism.

          Are you leaving now? Where are you staying? What are you up to? – He had that intense look. I blushed and turned away.
          Planning to walk the laces on my dress and listen to their rustle.
          Any other plans?
          Not really
          I will come over after this, gotta present first
          You can’t, I am not by myself any more, Greg.
          Can I come over?
          I am with my boyfriend
          Can I come over?
          No, I am with my boyfriend
          But I want to see you, tell me the room number now
          You know my boyfriend
          Of course I do, he has a small penis, you like his jet Vixen, and you want me
          I love you Greg
          Take this.  He held the magnetic hotel room key out to me – Go upstairs, relax, I will bring you dinner once this charade is over. And please take off this ugly dress. I hate it really.

As I walked into the room he was staying, I sensed him immediately. Ideal order of the king suite, well-organized closet and spotless bathroom. Perfection about everything, surgical ingenuity, and artless psychopathy.  I unpacked my suitcase, threw jeans and sweaters on the coffee table, added a usual mess of tooth brushes, contact lens cases, and jewelries to the bathroom, and jumped in the shower. I stood under the running water for a while holding on to the present moment like Goethe’s Faust: Stop Time. Thou Art So Beautiful!

Greg got back after midnight and laughed hysterically at my undies on the floor and hairs in the bathroom sink. We went to the rooftop bar to watch the city and eat oysters. Jim kept calling and texting until I turned off my I-Phone. I was with the most wonderful man on this planet, I did not care about Jim’s possessiveness, generosity, and wealth.

The next day at the airport, I lied to Jim calmly looking into his dark and expressive eyes about the need to spend the night by myself in order to think about my feelings for him and blah-blah-blah. I did not care if Jim bought it or not. On our way back to Florida, I quietly studied sparkling water mechanically raising my head and smiling to stewardesses every time they added more into my glass.
          Honey, have the blood-work done for me. You may be calcium and iron deficient because of your vegan diet.  – Jim was truly concerned. I looked outside the window. Pinkish clouds, sunset, ice on the airplane wings, and serenity; I was in his private jet, and I could not care less.  

Jim told me he loves me and will never let me go, and I knew I will start believing in God if one day Greg tells me the same.

8 thoughts on “Jim and Symposium”

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