life

Greg’s Wife


The first time I met Emy was at a conference in Ritz where I was asked to play the piano.  Greg told me before that his wife works in mass media, and I imagined a tall and skinny bitch in high heels with a perfectly firm breast and erect nipples showing through the top. 
Well, she was tall. That’s it. Tired, heavy set, stooped, middle aged, and entirely lifeless. I recognized her by the Greg’s last name on her badge and the same sapphire necklace and earrings set that both of us wore that evening. Greg did not seem to be original when choosing jewelry for his spouse and the lover. I imagined him looking for the special offer: Buy one for your wife, get another one 50% off for your mistress. It was funny, I laughed.
I approached Emy and complimented on her shoes. She lit up almost immediately and praised my piano performance.
          Where did you learn to play the piano?
          My parents taught me when I was little
          Oh, really? I wish my boys would do something like that, but their dad does not think it’s a good idea
          Wow, sounds like their dad is in charge
          Of course, he is! Boys should be into sports. He thinks piano lessons are too girlie.
          And what do you think?
 –          Me? It really does not matter…
Greg seemed to suck all her life energy. There was no enthusiasm about her. Unfit body in a business attire and a dull face. She was entirely frozen. Her needs and wants were buried under marketing strategies, advertising techniques, and sales methods. Even conversing about the kids did not seem to defreeze her.
Greg stopped trying to control me after I threw a plate with a chocolate cheesecake into his TV. I survived his yelling. Life is way too short not to live, not to feel, not to express myself.     
I left Ritz and Emy relieved that I am single and not willing to dive into the traditional monogamous crap that people call “serious relations”.
Emy called me later with the invitation to play Chopin at the presentation of her new book the following week.  
love

Greg and Mike

Greg_Mike

I met two guys Greg and Mike at almost the same time and had to maneuver between both not knowing exactly what I was expecting from the dates.  

Greg was a surgeon, impulsive and angry with people in general and with the hospital staff in particular.
Mike was a senior executive, always swamped with forecasting, expense control, and under-performing team.

Greg was blunt and rude. He could call me at 3 am yelling and screaming that he wanted sex and demanding that I should be at his home immediately.
-This is the time babe I just need to f*ck someone and have them want me. You are torturing me, my cock and heart are both yours to have. I want you here and now.
Mike was calm and evasive. He never raised his voice and skillfully hid his non-vanilla sexual behaviors behind refined manners and a bleached smile.

Greg was six feet tall, slightly overweight, and loud. He grilled steaks over the weekend and smelled like flesh of dead animals.
Mike was of average height, athletic, and vegetarian; all about fine dining, organic food, and piano background. He smelled like mint and strawberries.

Greg only cared about himself. His interest did not get deeper than:
          Babe, oral sex?
Mike always asked questions making me feel one of his applicants in a job interview: background, master thesis, career goals… 
          What is it that you can offer a man, my dear?

Greg could show up at 6 am at my door demanding to fix him a breakfast sandwich.
Mike was respectful of my privacy, he never bothered me with unexpected visits.

Greg was greedy, never paid my bill at restaurants. He was very skillful at taking, using, and throwing away things and people.
Mike always took care of my expenses, offered decent allowances, and made me feel safe every time we went out.

Letting Greg into my life was an emotional roller coaster. He pushed my buttons, making me feel guilty, and ashamed of things I never did. He could promise me the whole world and disappear the next day for weeks leaving me in tears and emotionally destroyed. He always came back craving for my attention, and my mood immediately jumped from 0 to 100.
          Talk to me, babe. You are a stress reliever, so soothing    
Mike was focused, and predictable. Being into BDCM, he kept patiently looking for the appropriate masochist partner in a drama-free manner.

I ended up dumping both of them. 

Greg left me heart-broken.
Mike left me with his white BMW, which I immediately sold, thus closing the door into the world of boredom, lies, and kinky games. 

Every time Mike texts me, I delete his messages without reading.
When I hear Greg’s clinic ad on the radio, I smile prior turning it off.  
        
life

Life in the Moment

  What a wonderful thing it is to live in the moment. Every time I see my Mister Wonderful, I feel like my little poodle; the doggie wags his tail, jumping with joy, and trying to hug me with his paws. I have neither a tail nor paws, I just wrap my legs arms around him and rub my nose against his cheek. He smells like apples and oranges, sometimes like pineapples, yummy.
    
My miniature poodle loses his focus every time I am gone. He has other things to do: to play, to chew his bone, to make a mess around the house, to chase squirrels, and bunnies. Same with myself, once my Mister Wonderful leaves, I have sunsets, chocolate, roses, friends, and books on my mind. I dive into other experiences and add other colors into my life, which are as bright and expressive as my experience with Mister Wonderful. I adore him when I see him. And I enjoy other aspects of my life when he is gone.
   
I cannot be upset with my dog when his attention is captured by a racoon or a steak. I do not expect my Mister Wonderful to be upset with me for not keeping him on my mind 24 hours a day. Yes, I am capable of letting the past delightful moments go as soon as he is out of sight.
   
I do not live in anticipation for his visits. I take the most from him when he is nearby, spiritually, emotionally, physically and I give a lot in return. But I have no plans or desires for the future. I build the present, without looking into something that is not there yet.
   
I make love with the present, as passionately as I do with my Mister Wonderful. I keep expanding my present adding new colors to it. My life is a kaleidoscope of present experiences, where my Mister Wonderful is just one of many.
   
When it comes to my life, I do not prioritize. I just allow myself to live at present.  It is fun, it is worth while doing.